


Five Little Moments in Time

by Eintei



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: During Timeskip (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), just two sad people finding solace with each other, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22755541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eintei/pseuds/Eintei
Summary: Upon Queen Marianne's death, a journal with her memories of King Dimitri was found. These are five of them, chronicling important moments over the course of five years.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Marianne von Edmund
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter 1

The first memory the queen wrote down in her journal was that of their first meeting. Of course, they had seen each other before in Garreg Mach's hallways, and they had probably shaken hands before during the class introductions or nobility meeting, so it wasn't technically their first meeting. But to Queen Marianne, this would always be their _actual_ first meeting, and the one she held closest to her heart.  
It was a few days after Marianne had first transferred to the Blue Lions class. It'd taken every bit of courage she had in her tiny body to go up to professor Byleth and ask her if she could maybe join them. It wasn't that she disliked the Golden Deer, but something about the new professor and the way the Blue Lions behaved made her want to join them. She was a bit sad about leaving Hilda, but in the end, they would all be better off without her. She knew it.  
For that week, Marianne had taken on stable duty, as she always did. Unlike in her old house, where Hilda would come with her and keep her company, no one in the Blue Lions really seemed to bother with her yet. That was the way she preferred it – horses were much easier to be around. And so she spent her afternoon brushing several horses and feeding them, relishing in her solitude. That was, until...  
'Marianne?' Suddenly, there was a familiar voice behind her. It startled her so badly that she dropped the brush she was holding, and in an attempt to catch it hit her head against the wall. She turned around, her face turning red with embarrassment due to that clumsy display, and prayed to the Goddess that the person who just entered the stables hadn't seen it.  
'Oh, hello, Dimitri,' she muttered, quickly putting away the brush to avoid embarrassing herself even further.   
'Are you okay?' he asked, and he swiftly walked over to her to check. So he had seen it after all. She looked around to see if there was anywhere she could run off to, but since he was coming straight towards her, it would only lead to more questions. There was nowhere to go, so she just averted her gaze and nodded.  
'I am.' She swallowed, hoping he would leave now, but he didn't. Instead he came even closer, observed her for a second and then turned towards the horse she had just been taking care of, a wonderful stallion named Dorte. Dimitri was standing way too close for comfort, and she felt her body tense up immediately. _Get away_ , was all she could think. _Get away, or something bad will happen._  
'I hope you don't mind me intruding, but professor Byleth sent me. Apparently she has picked up this idea that I should join the cavalry.' The prince sighed and shook his head. 'But I have to admit that I do not know too much about it. I have some riding skills, of course, but I get the impression that riding a horse into battle requires more than just technical knowledge.'  
'I don't know about battle, but one of the most important aspects of riding is being able to understand your horse,' Marianne said softly. She put her hand on Dorte's neck and the moment her hand touched the soft fur, she immediately felt more at ease.  
'I see.' Dimitri looked at the horse with interest, then followed her example and softly touched Dorte's nose. The horse closed her eyes halfway through, seeming relaxed. She enjoyed the attention, that was for sure.  
So they stood there for a while in silence, Marianne feeling more anxious with every quiet second. She wasn't very good at keeping conversation in the first place, and the fact that the prince of Faerghus would be her conversational partner didn't make things easier. Claude was always so casual that she often forgot that he was even nobility in the first place, but Dimitri was different. He was dignified and calm, exuding regalness with every movement, even if he seemed somewhat uncomfortable petting Dorte. Despite the fact that when she entered the class he explicitly told her to call him by his first name, it made her somewhat nervous.  
Eventually, the tension in her shoulders became too much, and the urge to leave was overwhelming. So she removed her hand from Dorte's neck, moved away and said nervously: 'I'm sorry, Dimitri, but I have to go now.'  
'Oh, that is a shame.' Dimitri sounded legitimately disappointed, which caught Marianne by surprise. For the first time that day, she turned her body towards him, although she avoided looking into his eyes. He continued: 'I was hoping you could stay a little longer. Professor Byleth says you are very good with horses, so she thought you might be able to give me some pointers on how to bond with them.'  
'The... professor said so?' Marianne felt her cheeks turn red upon hearing that. She did like horses, that much was true, but saying that she was good with them was a bit of a stretch. 'I don't know if I can help you. I'm not very good at talking to people, so I probably won't be able to explain things very well,' she said honestly.  
'I personally do not think that these two immediately correlate,' Dimitri said. 'In addition to that, even if it were true, we can work around that. All that matters is that you are very skilled. You were able to befriend that new stallion last week, correct? Even the stable hands had issues with that creature.'  
'You knew about that?' Marianne looked up, and more out of sheer surprise than anything else, her eyes met Dimitri's. They were a beautiful, bright blue, and took away her breath for a second. She immediately looked away again, afraid that it might seem weird to keep on staring into them.  
'Of course I did. I was training in the Knight's Hall, and one of the stable boys specifically came over to me to tell me.' Dimitri smiled at her and suddenly, he seemed a lot less intimidating.  
Still, Marianne couldn't help but feel that he oversold her talents. 'I honestly didn't do much. The horse would've been willing to listen anyway if that stable boy hadn't been so rough with him.'  
Dimitri shook his head. 'You are far too modest.'  
She wanted to tell him that he was wrong. That she wasn't modest, but realistic. That on the battlefield, she was of no use. That the only reason she could even understand animals in the first place was because she didn't know how to deal with real humans, so she just spent all her time with them instead. But before she could, Dimitri already cut her off. 'Regardless, I think you'd make for a suitable tutor. I have no intention to keep you here if you really want to leave, but if you have the time to spare, could you maybe give me some pointers?'  
And suddenly, Marianne noticed that she actually _wanted_ to help him. It was clear from the awkward way he approached Dorte that he didn't actually knew all that much about communicating with horses outside of riding, and if she was honest – he seemed nice. Niceness would be a waste on her, she knew that, but she'd probably disappoint him even more if she didn't help him now. So she picked up the brush again and held it out towards him. 'Have you ever brushed a horse before?'  
Dimitri looked at the brush for a bit, then took it, holding it awkwardly in his hand. It was very strange to see the prince of Faerghus, who always looked so collected and well-coordinated, struggle with something as basic as holding a brush. 'I did it a few times when I was a child, but at some point my horse would usually be prepared for me by a stable hand.'  
'Then, how about we start off with doing that?' She opened the stable door and entered the stable. Dimitri followed her, closing the stable door behind him. 'It's a good way to build a connection with your horse.' She demonstrated how to use the brush, then waited for the prince to follow her lead. He did so, brushing extremely carefully, as if he were afraid to hurt the horse. She walked around Dorte and started taking doing the same on the other side. The silence was thick between them, and she suddenly regretted her choice.   
'I'm sorry, I know I'm not very good company. I'm not good at talking to people.' It had become a stock phrase of hers by this point: if she would just warn the other person that she wasn't worth their time, they might stay away.  
'That's alright, Marianne. We don't need to be talking all the time, and...' He was interrupted by a sharp snap, coming from his hand. Dorte moved his ears and looked at Marianne for confirmation that everything was okay. Marianne, making sure she kept a hand on Dorte at all times, walked back towards Dimitri's side. There she saw the prince standing with the brush, neatly broken into two halves. He turned towards her and let out a sigh, his expression a combination of disappointment and embarrassment. 'My apologies for that. I don't always know my own strength.'  
Marianne blinked, trying to process the fact that the prince of Faerghus had just snapped a brush in two with his bare hands. 'Is that why you were so careful with Dorte just now?'  
He nodded. 'It was. Can I admit something to you?'  
'If you don't mind sharing it with me, then of course.'  
'One of the reasons I stopped taking care of horses was because I grew too strong for them. I kept accidentally hurting them. I know that the professor meant well when she told me to work on my riding skills, but I don't know if I'm really cut out for it.'  
'I'm sure you can manage, Dimitri.' When she saw the disappointed look on his face, she couldn't help but want to make him feel better. 'I don't know if I'm the best person to teach you, but with some help, I'm sure you will be fine.'  
'I appreciate the kind words, Marianne.'  
'Oh, it's nothing. I'm not sure it's the same, but I'm terribly clumsy. Hilda always needs to clean up after me.'  
'I see. Well, I suppose we all have our weaknesses, and mine just happens to be breakable objects.' Then, Dimitri looked at her once more. 'Say, forgive me for prying, but there's something I've been meaning to ask you.'  
'Yes?' Marianne asked, unsure of what was going to follow now. Usually, the question that followed was about her Crest, and that was not a topic she wanted to talk about.   
'Why did you join the Blue Lions? Do not misunderstand, we are overjoyed to have you, but I can't seem to grasp your reasons for leaving the Golden Deer.'  
That was not at all what she expected, and it took her a few moments to find the right words. If she was honest, she didn't even truly know herself. 'I... just felt at ease with the new professor, I suppose. Professor Hanneman made us work in groups all the time, and I was just bringing everyone down. Then professor Byleth told me she preferred to train people one on one, so...'  
'So you hoped that by transferring to the Blue Lions, you'd feel more at ease training by yourself with only professor Byleth guiding you. I can understand that,' Dimitri nodded. 'Although I hope that you find yourself feeling like a part of the group, regardless. I want the Blue Lions feel unified, and that includes you.'  
He looked so proud saying that that Marianne wanted nothing more than to believe him. So, in an uncharacteristic bout of confidence, she said: 'I would like that.' However, immediately after that, the dark voice in her head returned. 'I just don't know if it's possible for someone like me.'  
'It most definitely is, Marianne, and we'd all be glad to welcome you.' The happiness on his face was genuine, and for the first time since she transferred, she felt that she maybe had made the right choice.  
There was a short silence, and a tension hung between them that Marianne couldn't quite place. She started panicking inside, searching for something to say, but eventually it was Dimitri who was broke it. 'So, do you think I could give it another try? Do you have time for that?'  
'I think so,' she said, although she changed her mind a second later. She had no idea of what time it was, but she just remembered that she hadn't finished her tasks yet. 'No, wait. I still need to finish the professor's assignment. I'm on stable duty.'  
'Then, let me help you. It's the least I can do after breaking that brush.'  
'Oh, okay. I'm sorry for making you do my work.'  
'There is no need to apologize for something that I myself offered to do,' he gently told her, but it only made her feel more guilty. She took a deep breath and walked back into the stable, Dimitri following her.  
They spent the rest of their afternoon tending to the horses. Most of it was quiet, with Dimitri filling the void every once in a while by asking her to explain horse behaviour. On multiple occasions, Marianne found herself wondering if he wouldn't have preferred someone like Hilda, who could just talk and talk, but he never showed any sign of discomfort around her. He was continuously friendly and patient, and it made her realize how different the Blue Lions were from the Golden Deer. Sure, they had their quarrels every now and then, but they all seemed so much more knightly than the loud, rowdy bunch that was the Deer. She missed some of them, of course, but overall, she might actually fit in with the Lions eventually.  
By the time they left the stables, the sun had already set. 'It seems this took much longer than I expected,' he sighed. 'Marianne, would you join me for dinner, as a token of my thanks?'  
'I, ehm...' She wanted to say yes, but she realized that it had already been too much. She'd already spent the entire afternoon with him due to her own lack of constraint, and if she would spend more time around him, surely bad luck would follow. 'I don't think that's a good idea. I'll eat in my quarters.'  
'Oh, I see.' He was clearly disappointed. For a second, Marianne wondered if he might actually _want_ to have her around, but then she shook her head again. It didn't matter. 'Well then, I will leave you be for tonight. Still, Marianne, thank you a lot for helping me. If you have the time, I would appreciate your tutelage again.' He bowed and smiled at her once more. 'Then, have a good evening.'  
She wished him a good evening as well, and watched him walk away. And as she eventually turned around and walked back to her own room, she found herself thinking about the prince of Faerghus. He was so friendly she'd almost felt at ease, which didn't happen often. And before the negative voice in her head took over again, she found herself thinking one thing:  
Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.


	2. Chapter 2

The second memory the queen wrote down was the day of the Garreg Mach Ball. Marianne had been dreading that day for weeks: she was a horrible dancer, and on top of that, it meant being in a big group of people for an entire evening. She would've skipped out on it as well, had it not been for Hilda and Annette joining forces and pulling out all the stops. Every time either of them saw her in the hallway or in class (which, considering the monastery's layout, was pretty often), they'd pester her about going and present ideas for hairdos and make up. In the end, Marianne felt she didn't have much of a choice, and so on the evening of the 24th she found herself in the reception hall watching all the students moving around the dance floor.  
She had to admit, it wasn't all that bad. Hilda and Annette had promised to stick with her for the evening, and since the two of them together talked a lot, she never really had to worry as much about keeping up a conversation. She was even asked to dance, although the person to do so was Sylvain, and he was immediately dragged away again by Ingrid. Ironically, he seemed to have convinced her to dance with him instead, as they were now waltzing to the lovely music that echoed through the reception hall.  
'Good evening.' A soft voice came from behind her and Marianne turned around. Mercedes was making her way over to them, smiling serenely as always. Annette's face lit up at the sight of her best friend, and she jumped up from the chair she was sitting in. 'Hi Mercie!'  
'Hi there, Annie. Hilda, Marianne, I was wondering if I could steal Annette for a minute. I'm responsible for the cookies tonight, and I need someone to taste test them.'  
'Oh, that sounds good. Sure, but you need to give us the premiere on them once they're ready to leave the kitchen,' Hilda demanded. Mercedes giggled. 'Of course. Annie, shall we go?'  
'Do you even need to ask?' Annette was already jumping around with anticipation, and before long, they'd left the reception hall.   
It was just the two of them now, and Marianne felt her body grow tired. Hilda stopped monologuing about people's outfits for a bit and looked at the dance floor, which was rather quiet right now. Claude had whisked away professor Byleth for a dance, and there was a literal line of people waiting for a chance to dance with Edelgard. To Marianne's surprise, Dimitri was nowhere to be seen. Last she saw he was talking to Ashe, but he didn't even seem to be in the room right now.  
She looked at Hilda, whose eyes were following Ferdinand. The orange-haired noble was saying goodbye to his dancing partner, a girl from the Black Eagles, and noticed Hilda's look. He spoke a few final words to the girl, then started making his way towards Marianne and Hilda.  
'Hey, Hilda?' Marianne said softly. Her friend tore her eyes away from the dance floor and at Marianne. 'Yes?'  
'You don't have to stay here with me all evening if you don't want to. I'm tired anyway, so I'll be going soon.'  
'Are you sure, Marianne?' Hilda observed her, trying to figure out if Marianne was just saying it to make her feel better or if she actually meant it. 'I absolutely don't mind being with you all evening, just so you know. It would just be nice to dance at least once.'  
'Then please, do so. I'll be fine,' she assured Hilda. Her companion looked at her one last time, then nodded and smiled. 'Well, in that case, good night. I'm very glad that you decided to come after all, Marianne, and I'm sure that Annette feels the same way. Heck, I think everyone feels that way.'  
'Good night to you too, Hilda,' Marianne said, and she watched Hilda run off to Ferdinand and drag him back to the dance floor by his arm. For a few seconds she stood there, noticing the relative silence around her without her companions, and then made her way to the back door, hoping no one would see her leave or come after her.  
The cold winter air hit her in the face, and after taking a few steps outside, Marianne stood still to take it all in. She was still close enough to the open door to hear the music and the chatter, but she was definitely out of sight. She felt calmer immediately, although part of her wondered what would've happened if she'd just stayed inside. Were there people who'd want to talk to her? Ignatz took her to see the sunset that one time, so maybe he did appreciate her company after all. There was also Ashe, but first she'd have to apologize for avoiding him all that time...  
She took a deep breath and shook her head. No, it was better this way. As nice as her classmates were, and as much as she would want to friends with them, it was for their own benefit that she wouldn't get too close. She was clumsy, she was boring, and most of all, she was dangerous. She knew they would never understand – no one really would. Well, maybe except for one person.  
And just as she thought that, that person suddenly showed up in the dark to her right.  
'Dimitri..?' She squinted to see if she was maybe wrong, but there was no mistaking the person's identity. It was indeed the prince of Faerghus, who did indeed appear from the dark, looking like he had just been running.  
'Oh. Marianne.' Dimitri came to a standstill, just close enough that she could see him somewhat more clearly, and ran his hand through his hair to put it back in its normal do . Even in the dim light, she could clearly see that he was embarrassed at the situation. 'I'm sorry. Did I scare you?'  
'Oh no, not at all. I was just lost in thought.' Her first instinct was to run away, since she probably wasn't the person Dimitri would want to talk to right now. However, something about the way he looked right now stopped her in her tracks. He seemed on edge, like a horse that spotted something scary. She'd never abandon a horse in that state, so she definitely shouldn't abandon her friend either.  
'Is everything alright?' she asked quietly. 'I haven't seen you inside for a while.'  
'Yes, that is correct.' Dimitri cleared his throat uncomfortably. 'That would be because I was hiding from Sylvain. He decided that he needed me as his, I think he called it his “wingman”. He said he'd have a better shot at getting a certain girl to dance with him if he got me to dance with her friend, who apparently has taken a liking to me.'  
'So you.. ran away?' Marianne tried not to sound judgmental, but the whole situation sounded somewhat weird, even with Sylvain involved.  
'Well, that wasn't necessarily part of the plan, but he was... very insistent.' Dimitri sighed. 'But I suppose it did work, since he never found me after that. I waited there for a few minutes or so, and hopefully now the coast is clear.'  
Marianne couldn't help it: she giggled at the story. Having been in the Blue Lions class for a few months, she was very familiar with Sylvain's persistence and the trouble it could get Ingrid and Felix into. She just never expected Dimitri to become a victim of that as well.  
'I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing at you. That's not a very nice situation to be in.'  
To her surprise, Dimitri smiled back, and Marianne was taken aback by how handsome he looked. 'Well, if it made you laugh, I suppose my misfortune was worth it.'  
'It.. is?' Marianne had absolutely no idea how to respond to that. She felt the blood rush to her cheeks, and suddenly she was very thankful that it was dark out here. Dimitri, on the other hand, didn't seem to think anything was wrong and continued: 'Well, maybe not completely. It was rather cold out here. But you don't smile that often, so whenever you do, it makes me happy as well.'  
And weirdly enough, that didn't make her feel less self-conscious at all. Now her need to run away got even worse, as she desperately tried to find something to answer to that, but nothing came up. All she could do was try to not stare at Dimitri and be confronted with that smile again, even though she really, really wanted to see it more.  
'Forgive if I'm prying, but are you yourself alright? I was not expecting you outside at this hour. Plus, I seem to recall you mentioning not wanting to go in the first place.'  
'I was just on my way back to my room,' Marianne explained.  
'Oh. Did you dislike it that much, then?'  
She shook her head. 'No, it's not that. It wasn't horrible, but I don't think I was made for these things.'  
'I know exactly what you mean,' Dimitri nodded. 'I've been doing this since I was a child, but in all honestly, I've never gotten used to it. It seems we have another thing in common.'  
Marianne nodded solemnly and knew that he was talking about that time in the dining hall, when she realized he also knew what it was like to bring misfortune to everyone around him. It was a memory she held dear: whenever she felt bad, she'd think of how he called her a lucky charm. It didn't always help, but there were days when those few words made everything just a tiny bit more bearable.  
'When you left the ballroom just now, did you happen to see Sylvain? I will need to go back some time again, but I don't want to get caught up in his philandering again,' Dimitri sighed.  
'He was dancing with Ingrid just now,' Marianne remembered, and she took a quick peek over her shoulder back into the reception hall. It wasn't very clear, but she thought she caught a glimpse of red hair swing by, followed by a wave of blonde, and she relayed that information to Dimitri.  
'Well, then I shall go in again.' He fell silent for a bit, then coughed and continued: 'I don't suppose you're coming with me?'  
'Oh, no, I don't think I should. I just really want to get back to my room.' It was a half-truth at best. Up until a few minutes ago, she really had been wanting to get back, but whenever Dimitri was around, that need usually became weaker, and today was no exception.  
'I see. That's a pity. I was hoping to dance with you tonight.'  
Marianne didn't think that she could get even more flustered, but apparently, it was possible. Dimitri seemed to pick up on it, as he quickly added: 'You see, I wanted to dance with all of the Blue Lions tonight.'  
Marianne couldn't help but feel a sting of disappointment as he said that, but she tried not to let it show. Part of her had hoped that he would specifically want to dance with her, although she couldn't see a reason why he would. 'Well, I'm not from the Kingdom anyway, so I don't even know if I count as a Blue Lion.' Mission failed.  
'Of course you do!' Suddenly, Dimitri's voice got louder, startling Marianne. He seemed embarrassed by it, as he coughed and said in a lower voice: 'You really are one of us, Marianne. Pardon my outburst just now, but I will not have you tell yourself otherwise. You are one of my precious comrades, no matter where you're from.'  
She wanted to believe him so badly it hurt, but instead of telling him so, she just shook her head. She wanted to open her mouth and tell him the same thing she'd told everyone in the Golden Deer: that she should never, ever be considered a comrade, because the moment anyone did, they would be in danger. But suddenly, she was just tired of it. She wanted to be a part of the Blue Lions. To be considered one of them. And, most of all, she wanted Dimitri to consider her one of them. So instead of telling him to stay away, she just averted her gaze and kept silent.  
'I apologize if I overstepped my boundaries just now. I understand that it might be different for you.' He turned towards her and looked straight into her eyes, making it impossible for her to look away. 'But I truly do consider you an important ally of mine, and one of us.'  
'I...' He wasn't going to listen, whatever she said. So she just nodded solemnly and eventually pried her eyes away, praying to the Goddess that he didn't notice the whirlwind of emotions running through her.  
'Well, I think I should be going now. Have a good night, Marianne.' Dimitri nodded at her, and then turned around. Marianne looked at his back and felt more alone than ever, and wished with all her might that he wouldn't leave.  
'Wait.' The words had come out before she even realized she'd spoken them. What was she even trying to accomplish? Have him stay with her out of pity?  
'Yes?' Dimitri's voice was calm, and full of patience. She took a deep breath. She'd dug her own grave now, so she had to finish it. 'I just... I hope you don't think I dislike you, or that I didn't want to dance with you. I just... don't feel comfortable about the crowd, and I'd just end up embarrassing you.'  
'Well, if you don't like the crowds, we can always dance here.'  
'Right... here?' There were a lot of answers she'd expected, but not that one. Fair enough, they probably could – the music was very much audible here, and there was not a soul in sight. If they'd move down the stairs, there was enough space for them to move around, and they were far enough from the lights that no one would really see them. The only reason Marianne could think of not to do it was the fact that she would most definitely mess up, and honestly, she didn't even care all that much. If she could dance with Dimitri, just the two of them, she felt she'd be fine. 'I think that'd be nice.'  
Dimitri's first reaction was surprise, but it almost immediately made place for another smile. 'That makes me very happy. Then, shall we?' He held out his hand and the moment Marianne took it, she regretted her decision. It was warm and calloused and touching it sent an electric shock through her body. Blood crept to her cheeks and she turned all warm inside. Now, Marianne didn't know much about holding hands with boys, but was this really what was supposed to happen when you did so?  
He guided her down the stairs, towards the stone square next to the reception hall, and got into position. Marianne clumsily followed his example, trying to remember the dancing lessons her adoptive father had given her. All she could dig up was the all-consuming shame she felt at stepping on her teacher's feet all the time.   
She must've tensed up, as Dimitri pulled her into the correct position and gently squeezed her hand. 'You'll be fine, Marianne. Just follow my lead.'  
She swallowed nervously and nodded. Dimitri swayed to the music, counted softly, and then started moving. He was a much better dancer than Marianne, that much was clear from the first moment. His movements were somewhat stiff, but they were well-coordinated, and his lead made it easy enough to follow. Before long, even Marianne got swept up into the music and the dancing, lost in this small, dark world she and the prince created. His hands in hers, his body so close... for a split second in time, everything around her seemed to disappear. It didn't even matter that she wasn't a good dancer, or that it was dark and that she'd more or less fled the ballroom, or that the person in front of her was the future king of Faerghus. It was just them, and she loved every second of it.  
Eventually, the song had to come to a stop, however, and she and Dimitri made a few final turns before coming to a standstill. For a few seconds after the silence fell, they just stood there, and Marianne gathered all the courage she could muster and looked up at Dimitri, who was looking at her with a look she couldn't quite place. His eyes did send another electric pulse down her body, and she immediately regretted looking up. She quickly let go and moved a few steps backwards, the air suddenly feeling much colder than before without him near her.  
'I'm sorry, I'm not a very good dancer,' she muttered. Something, somewhere in the back of her mind told her to look away from him, but she didn't have the energy to do so any more. So, for the first time in what seemed like ages, she looked into his eyes for a prolonged amount of time, feeling a warmth spreading all through her chest.  
'No need to apologize, Marianne. You did well,' he said gently. 'Thank you very much for this. I'm glad I got to dance with you.'  
'Me too,' she said, and it was the full truth. She wouldn't have missed it for the world.  
There was another moment of silence, but for once in her life, Marianne didn't find herself wondering if she was doing badly by not filling it with silence. It was just her and Dimitri, and it was fine. He understood.  
The spell was eventually broken by sound coming from the reception hall, startling both her and Dimitri. The prince looked over his shoulder and shook his head, disappointed by the display he saw from the doorway. It consisted of Annette and Felix yelling at each other, with Ashe desperately trying to get them to be quiet. It wasn't even clear what the fight was actually about, as Marianne only caught snippets that sounded similar to 'meanie' and 'dance with someone else', but it was clearly unpleasant.  
'I think that's a sign that I should go back inside.' Dimitri gave her a last friendly smile, then bowed. 'Thank you for tonight, Marianne. I'm glad I got to talk to you.'  
'Have a good evening, Dimitri.' She nodded at him, and he left back inside the room. Marianne found herself looking at his back for a bit, replaying the events of the evening. That familiar feeling of warmth and happiness whenever she remembered him holding her and guiding her through the dancing steps was still just as strong, and while she walked back to the dorms, she was happier than she could ever remember being. And then, just the moment she opened the door to her room, a conversation with Hilda from a few weeks ago popped into her head.  
 _'Have you ever had a crush on someone, Marianne?'  
'I don't think so. How would I even know?'  
'Well, the world just seems a bit brighter whenever they're around, I guess. And you get all warm and fuzzy inside, and you just want to smile.'_  
Oh no. Oh, Goddess, no.  
She had a crush on the prince of Faerghus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a lot of great plans about uploading and then life struck. But I'm very glad to get this chapter out there, I adored writing some of the other characters as well ^^ And people seemed to like what I wrote, so thanks to y'all for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

The third memory wasn't a very pleasant one, but Marianne remembered it somewhat fondly, much to Dimitri's chagrin. It happened a few years after the battle for Garreg Mach, after Byleth had disappeared. Margrave von Edmund had sent for Marianne immediately and had dragged her back to his estate, despite her initial protests. She wanted to stay by Dimitri's side – after seeing his reaction to Edelgard's betrayal, she knew he needed someone with him. But there was no going against her adoptive father, although the guilt she felt for leaving him never wavered. When she heard the news that he had died, she locked herself in her room for multiple days. Even now, she remembered those days as utter torture. The world around her seemed dark, and she remembered asking the Goddess if this was a sign that She would take Marianne soon as well. She never got an answer.

Eventually, the Margrave sent her to an Alliance military camp in an attempt to train her, not knowing what to do with her otherwise. Granted, she was accompanied by a large group of bodyguards and under no circumstances was she to be near the battlefield, so she was in no real danger – her adoptive father would never let that happen. Marianne didn't have the energy to protest, so she simply followed his command and ended up training as a healer in one of the camps near the border. It wasn't a nice place to be in the slightest, but the constant supply of wounded soldiers kept her mind occupied and forced her sadness over the prince of Faerghus to the background. In addition to that, she had to admit that she did actually learn a lot during her months there. In the back of her mind, however, there was always this one burning question: what if she had been around with this new power to help Dimitri? Would he still be alive right now?

The answer to that arrived about four months after she started her training in the form of the head healer barging into her tent. The past few days had been gruelling, and Marianne felt like she was on the verge of fainting. The last thing she wanted to do was mend another soldier's broken arm, but her sense of duty was stronger than her fatigue.

'Oh, Ides. Do you need anything?' The moment she asked the question, she noticed how stressed their head healer looked. He was nervously fidgeting with his sleeves, his clothing was all out of place and his brown eyes were big and terrified – very different from the composed Ides she knew. She immediately jumped up, ready to do whatever job he gave her.

Ides nodded and took a deep breath, trying to get himself together. 'Earlier today, an Imperial camp was attacked and taken down by a single man. He managed to kill them all, but he took a lance to his face. We should be able to help him, but he won't let anyone near him. Please, Marianne. Most of our other healers have already been chased out of the tent, and we're running out of options. Please try and help him,' the head healer pleaded, his voice more desperate than anything Marianne had ever heard before.

The moment she heard that description, she knew she had to go. A single man defeating an entire Imperial camp by himself... it couldn't be, she kept reminding herself. It couldn't be the person she wanted it to be. But even if it wasn't, she still needed to help them. In a way, this could be her redemption for leaving Dimitri.

'Let's go,' she nodded, and she followed Ides to another tent. Her fatigue disappeared in an instant, making place for a cold sense of dread and fear. Marianne wasn't quite sure whether she'd preferred her earlier state of mind.

The moment the tent they needed came into sight, a loud noise cut through the air. Someone was yelling at another person to leave, their voice furious, even feral. Ides stopped walking a few meters before the entrance to the tent, shaking all over his body, and looked at Marianne. 'That's it. We'll be outside if you need any of us.'

Marianne nodded again and swallowed, suddenly realizing how bad of an idea this was. Another healer exited the tent, shaking all over, and she sent a quick prayer to the Goddess. Everything inside her screamed for her to turn around, but she wasn't going to let another person die. She took a deep breath and entered.

Even before she had the chance to do anything, she was greeted by that same enraged voice, shouting that he'd told her to leave. This time, however, she could see who was speaking. And as much as she knew the situation was dire, for a few seconds, all she could do after entering the tent was freeze in place and stare at whatever was left of the prince of Faerghus.

He was Dimitri, but only barely. He'd grown during the past few years, both in height and in muscle. He was lying on the ground now, but he was so much bigger than her now that he could snap her into two if he simply stood up and decided that he wanted to. His once well-kept hair was much longer, and it didn't look like he'd bothered combing it in ages. His clothes were soaked in blood and covered in dirt, and Marianne now realized what Ides had meant by taking a lance to the face: there was an awful wound where his eye had once been, and she knew immediately that there was no saving it.

For a split second she looked into his other eye, and realized that that was probably the most different thing about him: she remembered the night of the ball, and the way his eyes had shined when he'd smiled at her. Whatever glow there had been before, it was gone now. All that was left in them now was bloodlust, the only emotion pushing forward this empty shell of a man.

'Dimitri?' she said softly, hoping he could hear her in his current state. She wasn't sure if he had, but he did finally look straight at her with a look of pure hatred. It sent a shiver down her spine, and her first instinct was to flee. Dimitri sat up and stumbled towards her, looking ready to attack, but the moment he got close enough, he stopped. It was hard to see in this situation, but she swore his expression softened – or, at the very least, he stopped clawing at the ground.

'Marianne,' he grunted, holding his hand over his right eye, clenching his teeth in pain. 'Are you actually here, or are you one of them now?'

'I'm actually here,' she assured him, as she sat down on her knees to face him at a more similar height. She slowly moved her hand towards his bloodied cheek – he flinched at her touch, but he didn't back away or try to attack her. Her heart felt lighter upon seeing his face again, as twisted as it looked right now, but it immediately sunk when she saw the hatred in his eye again. What had happened to him?

She noticed the unrest on his face at being touched for so long and she quickly cast the most powerful healing spell she could muster. The bleeding stopped, but in the place where his eye should be, all she saw was blood. 'I don't think I can save your eye any more, Dimitri. The wound is too bad.'

'I don't care. Make the pain go away enough that my body will let itself be moved again, then I'm gone. Any other healing spell is wasted on me.'

'I'm not strong enough to heal you that much. This is all I can do for you now. In two days or so, your body will have healed enough by itself, but I am not able to do that for you.' Secretly, that almost felt like a relief. As selfish as it was, she wanted him to stay for just a bit longer. For her own sake, as she wanted nothing more than to talk to him at least once more, but also for his. Years ago, he'd sworn to her that he would be there for her. Now, she would be there for him instead.

Upon hearing that, he swatted away her hand – she had outlived her usefulness to him now. 'Then I will go now. I don't need your help – I will make it to Enbarr by myself. I will not rest until my family is at peace.' He tried to get up again, but his body had different plans. He immediately fell back to the ground and let out another angry scream.

'You can't even walk, Dimitri. Even if it's just for one night, you will have to stay here,' Marianne said with a strictness she had picked up here at the battlefield. Over the course of the past few months, she'd seen a lot of angry and confused soldiers who had all yelled and screamed at her. It had been horrible, but none of it could even compare to the cold Dimitri sent down her body with the look he gave her. Nonetheless, he knew that she was right. He averted his gaze and finally properly sat down, though he was clearly on edge. 'Fine. I will leave tomorrow. But leave me alone.'

'I cannot do that yet, Dimitri. Your eye will need some extra care.' She got up again and went to the supply box that was in the corner of every tent. All Dimitri gave for an answer was a growl, but he didn't resist anymore when she started taking care of his eye. Her Healing spell should suppress most of the pain, but he still flinched when she came close. She wondered what he'd seen in the past few years that had broken him so much.

There was a silence, and every few seconds, she could feel Dimitri relax more under her touch. His breathing became more stable, his shoulders dropped and the consistent scowl on his face made place for an almost neutral expression. As nervous as she was, she found herself calming down as well, and she wondered how long it had been since the prince had felt a human's touch without simultaneously running a spear through their body. 

Once everything was done, she handed him an eyepatch, considering he wouldn't like it if she were to put it on him herself. Much to her surprise, however, he pushed away her hand and said: 'You might as well finish it now.' She nodded and tied it behind his head, running her fingers through his hair in the process. Back in school, she had found herself wondering what that would feel like, but she had never thought that she would find out in such a situation.

'There.' She took a short look at his face. With some of the blood cleaned and his now empty eye socket patched up, he reminded her a lot more of the boy she knew all those years ago. 'It will take some getting used to, but it should be fine now.'

'Marianne, what are you doing here?' Dimitri muttered, his voice still slightly on edge. 'You don't belong on the battlefield.'

'My adoptive father sent me here.' She wasn't really sure whether or not she should tell him that it was a reaction to her sadness about his perceived death. Considering he was here, alive, it all just seemed rather silly, so she opted to ask about him instead. 

'What happened to you, Dimitri? I thought you were dead. We all thought you were dead.' She tried to make her voice not sound too eager, but she couldn't help it – the question had been burning in her mind for a while now.

'I won't die until I have made my way to Enbarr,' he said, grinding his teeth. 'Dedue saved me. It cost him his life.'

'Oh, no...' Marianne didn't know Dedue well, but she had seen how much he meant to Dimitri. There was no doubt that Dedue's sacrifice had played a pivotal part in why the prince had become the way he was. She didn't know what to say, but this was something she actually understood. It meant that once more, the people around him had fallen, while he was still standing.

'Don't look give me that pitying look,' he muttered angrily. Marianne shook her head. 'I'm sorry, that's not what I tried to do. But Dimitri, do not forget that as much as this hurts, I know the pain. I can't take it away, but I can help carry it. Please, just talk to me.' She didn't know if this was the right thing to say, but she remembered how happy it made her back when he told her something similar. Right now, her worry for the prince was much worse than her fear of rejection.

Dimitri opened his mouth, ready to growl at her, but he looked at her face for a moment and all of a sudden, he only looked tired. 'I suppose you do know a bit,' he sighed. His eyes darted around the tent, as if he was looking for something. 'The ghosts have been quiet for a bit, and this cursed body seems to need some sleep.'

'Do you want me to leave?' Marianne got ready to stand up, already expecting him to tell her that he did.

'No. Stay.' It surprised her so much that her body froze for a moment. Dimitri averted his gaze, as if he was embarrassed to say it. 'I have a feeling they're silent because you're around. If you're here, it might be easier to fall asleep and I'll be on my way again sooner.'

The feeling of relief she felt when he said that was immense, despite his reasons being far from good. Now she could be of use to him. 'That's my duty, after all,' she said with a slight smile. He didn't answer, but simply lay his head on the cold ground. He almost immediately fell asleep – his breathing became regular, although that seemed to be the only calm thing about him. Even while sleeping, he was scowling and violently jolting, as if he was still fighting people in his dreams. She sat down next to him and gently wiped some leftover blood from his cheeks. She'd missed him so, so much, and now he had suddenly appeared in front of her here as almost a completely new person. It almost felt like a dream.

'You've changed so much, Dimitri,' she said softly, part of her hoping she could somehow get through to him in his sleep. He must've been exhausted, since her proximity didn't wake him up. 'I wish I could convince you to stay. You'd be safe here.'  
She sat there for a while in silence, listening to the sound of his breathing and replaying memories in her head of their days back at the monastery. It all seemed like a lifetime ago. A much, much happier lifetime.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone carefully pushing aside the cloth that was the tent door. Ides appeared, trying to make as little sound as possible, and he didn't actually step inside the tent until he had made sure that Dimitri was truly not fighting any more.

'So you managed to calm him down,' he whispered, looking at Dimitri's sleeping face.

Marianne nodded. 'We used to know each other, years ago. You might even say we were friends. He recognized me.'

Ides frowned. 'Really? You two seem so different. He's more like a beast than anything.'

For some reason, that last sentence made Marianne felt angrier than she had been in a long time. She could barely stop herself from snapping at her employer and instead said, as calmly as she could: 'I'm sorry, but you're wrong. He's a good person, but war does bad things to all of us. Now, he needs his rest, so please leave us be.' Her tone was still much more aggressive then she would've liked, but it was as if she had no control over her voice any more. No one, even her supervisor, had any right to talk about Dimitri like that.

Ides shot the prince a scared look, terrified he'd wake up again. When that didn't seem to happen, he softly mumbled an apology and then turned around again, doing as Marianne had asked him to. She would have to apologize to him later.

Suddenly, something moved near her leg. She looked at Dimitri and saw the blue of his eye, looking up at her from the ground.

'I'm sorry, did we wake you up?' she asked, hoping he hadn't heard the conversation just now.

'I usually wake up when I hear voices. It might be the enemy,' he said. His tone was softer than before, and she noticed that he was still half asleep.

'It was the head healer. He just wanted to check up on you. You can go back to sleep.'

'Hmm.' Dimitri closed his eye again, but he didn't relax quite yet. 'He's right, Marianne. I am more a beast than a man. There's nothing good about me.'

'That's not true, Dimitri. I don't pretend to know what you've been through, but the prince I met all those years ago was an amazing boy, who reached out his hand to a cursed being. He's still there, I know that.'

'You're naïve. That boy is gone, if he ever even existed in the first place.'

'Maybe I am naïve. But I've met that boy, I'm sure of it.' She leaned forward again to wipe away some dirt near his wound, hoping he would tolerate her touch. When he felt the movement, he suddenly moved his hand and grabbed hers. For a second, she was afraid she'd gone too far and that he might hurt her, but instead he simply held it next to his head and said softly: 'I wish I were the person you saw in me, Marianne.'

'You can be, Dimitri. I know it.'

He didn't answer her anymore, either because he didn't want to or because he had fallen asleep again. Marianne knew one thing for certain, and that was that she had just seen a small glimpse of Dimitri she cared for so much. It might have only been due to drowsiness, or a side effect of the healing spell, but he was there, and that was all that mattered. And as he slipped back into a deep sleep, he tightly held onto her hand, as if it were the only thing keeping him safe in the darkness of his nightmares.

When she woke up the next morning, he was gone. All that was left of him was a dark blue cape with some leftover blood on it, that had been carefully draped over her. It smelled like battles and wounds and death, but it warmed her nonetheless.  
She felt her chest tighten at the idea that she wasn't there to see him off, but she did know one thing: whatever Dimitri said, he was not beyond help. Somehow, someday, he would find his way back to the light. And if one day the Goddess would allow her to find him again, she would follow him until the ends of the earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured it was time to come crawling back from the depths of wherever I've been the past few months and hopefully get around to finishing this. Would be fun to actually finish something sometime :')

**Author's Note:**

> So after years of only reading fanfiction and writing stuff that I would never let anyone read, I finally managed to face my fears and throw this out on the big, scary internet. Marianne and Dimitri's support was by far my favorite in the entire game and I haven't shipped any couple in, like, any form of media as much as I have these two in a loooooong time. But since there's not a lot of content for them, I decided I would try and fix that. Hope you all enjoy my attempt at writing romance~


End file.
